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One Side: Beth

Sometimes I'm recorded while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it feels like a sudden shock.

A close companion of 10 years, she, calls herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it strains our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to document everything all the time. During meals out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when strangers see her performing for the camera – I get vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but she is trying to be. She makes video blogs about city life, a day in her life, and her styling career. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be involved. Sometimes she films me while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her Instagram afterwards, and it comes like a surprise: I’ll have bare-faced, making a strange expression or photographed while eating. It feels invasive.

Marielle also expects me to film her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I'm in conversation to someone else, or we're simply hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has turned into me serving as her free crew. She could easily employ someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my discomfort about this arrangement, she brushed it off. I've been invited to a couple of industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I invest assisting her make content.

I’m grateful that she has supported me with my design career, but I don’t want our friendship to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don't believe she’s fake or inauthentic, but sometimes I feel that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and record me laughing with another. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I love being with her, but I also desire to experience it without being recorded, altered, or posted for an audience. I am not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I want my friend to see that the creations we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I love creating videos. It’s not just a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online enables me to express myself and engage with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to make money from your interests. I admire people on social platforms who pull off that aesthetic of casual, DIY film-making.

Content creation is my interpretation of living actively: noticing the details, sharing them with an audience that appreciates the craft behind it. I never intend to make my friend uncomfortable. Taking her to professional gatherings was my way of sharing opportunities, giving her a opportunity to experience exclusive moments that could benefit her career in design too. That’s not blackmail, it's simply being realistic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see the benefits the content we create together can get us: an opening. I know not everyone likes being filmed, but often spontaneity is what makes material genuine. Being recorded from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I'd remove anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my personal filmmaker, but friends support one another in minor capacities. I thought recording a clip now and then would be fun for Beth. Creativity thrives in collaboration, and having Beth around makes endeavors energetic and enjoyable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I’d never intentionally embarrass her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I record our time together.

I value our friendship deeply and want to avoid making videos to come between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like requesting permission before recording, and steering clear of angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about power, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Clearly making content is not a replacement for real connection: it's merely part of how I experience life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop recording herself and her friend when they are out together?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a friend point a camera at you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to create content with. Given the uncertain future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for help every time, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn't imply everyone around her is content. She must to respect her friend's privacy.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and displaying her life online, but it isn't for everybody. It was kind she has helped Beth’s career, but she must to hear what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you value each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the priority in your relationship. Foster some authentic experiences, where true emotions are stored, not online archives. Even public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Each appears confused as to where the line is. The solution lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each setting defined limits around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been exploiting their bond?